


YEET

by zinabug



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-17
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23186173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zinabug/pseuds/zinabug
Summary: Jonny throws the TS out of the airlock three timesor, I am sick of mys sister so this is my way of dealing with it
Relationships: Jonny d'Ville & The Toy Soldier
Comments: 8
Kudos: 82





	YEET

Jonny  _ hates  _ the Toy Soldier. 

He’s not even quite sure why. It might just be that it’s so strange, or how infuriatingly… cheerful it is. Everything about it is like an itch he can’t scratch with a good bout of murder. So, he prefers it gone. Out of the airlock is best, but “playing” hide and seek with it works well. He just tries not to find it. 

“Hello Jonny! It Seems You Have Found Me!” The TS was folded neatly up in one of the empty crates in storage unit two. Jonny, who had been looking for more whiskey, shot it in the head. It was very unsatisfactory. 

“Is It Your Turn To Hide Yet?” It asked him, grinning. He shot it again. It didn’t seem to notice. 

“Let me just grab the goddamn whiskey.” He muttered, trying to ignore it and walking over to another crate. The TS was a lot easier to handle the less sober you were.

The next crate he found had an octokitten on top of it. He considered shooting it too, but just shoved it to the side and picked up the crate. The Toy Soldier was standing uncomfortably close to him. 

“Could y’ maybe…” 

“Could I What?” It asked, grinning. 

“Not be so close to me?” He asked. 

It took three steps back and saluted. “Yes Sir!” 

“Oh, fuck off.”

“Yes sir!” 

It walked out of the room. Jonny sighed and hefted his crate of whiskey. Hopefully it won't come back. 

He found it less than an hour later. It was standing in the hallway across the ship from him, perfectly still. It was standing in the hallway when he was going to torment Brian. However, tormenting it might turn out to be more fun. 

“D’you want to play a game?” He asked.

“Yes! That Sounds Like Jolly Good Fun! I Love Games!” It clapped its wooden hands. Jonny sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. 

“It’s called I push you out of the airlock.”

Its smile remained the same as it said, “I Do Not Like That Game.” 

“Yeah, well, fuck you.” Jonny grabbed the TS around the waist, tucked it under his arm, and started running for the airlock. He only ran into the wall on purpose once. 

  
  
  
  


“The TS is back,” Nastya remarked. 

Jonny cursed loudly and threw his hand of cards down on the table. Ashes scooped a handful of coins into their hat, grinning. 

“I thought we got rid of it for good.” Jonny growled. 

“It has a bag of teeth.” Nastya said mildly.

Jonny pointed his gun at her without looking, and she ducked around the doorway as the bullet pinged off the side. 

“Aurora would appreciate it if you stopped shooting at her.” Nastya said in the same tone. 

“Fuck the ship,” Jonny grumbled. 

“No, Nastya…” Ashes muttered, counting their winnings.

Nastya raised an eyebrow. “I d-”

_ BANG!  _ Jonny’s next shot hit her square in the chest. 

“Rude,” She said a minute later from where she was dead on the floor. Ashes, who had been dealing cards again, threw one at her. 

* * *

The Toy Soldier waved to Jonny.

“Hello! I Have A Gift For You!”

Jonny flipped it off. With both hands. 

“TS, I order you to put the gift in Jonny’s hand whatever it takes.” Tim, who was walking along with Jonny on their way to the kitchen, ordered. 

Jonny rounded on him, pulling out his gun as Tim took off and ran down the corridor followed by gunfire. 

He suddenly found himself tackled from behind by a wooden man. His gun went flying. The Toy Soldier tried to grab his hands as he tucked them underneath himself. 

“Damn it, Tim!” Jonny yelled. Tim, down at the end of the hall, waved to him before turning the corner. 

Fighting the TS never went very well, in Jonny’s experience. It was weirdly strong, and when it managed to pin you, there was no way out. Whenever he punched it, it hurt his knuckles too. 

He was putting up a pretty good fight, in his opinion, but it managed to wrestle one of his arms out from under him and pressed… something in it. 

Jonny found that he could stand, so he did, taking a look at the thing in his hand. It was a tooth. Disgusted, he tossed the thing on the floor before looking at the TS. 

It was standing very still, saluting either him or the now long gone Tim. 

He sighed heavily. “Why? No, don’t answer that.” He added hastily as it opened its mouth. 

He scooped it up in a bridal carry and took it to throw it out of the airlock again before he went to shoot Tim. 

* * *

Cackling madly, Jonny sprinted towards the airlock. Someone was on his ship, and he was going to kill them. 

He rounded a corner, skidding into the wall and firing several shots down the corridor. An octokitten fell out of the ceiling and he tripped on it as he continued running. Jonny blindly fired several more shots behind him, unsure if he hit it, and kept running. 

“WHO THE FUCK IS ON MY SHIP!” He yelled. “SURRENDER AND DIE!”

The Toy Soldier stepped out in front of him. 

He unloaded two rounds into its chest before he realized who it was. 

“How did you get in here? I locked the airlocks down.” he put his gun back in the holster. 

“I’m So Glad To Be Back!” it said. 

Jonny kicked it in the ankle. It didn’t react. 

“I Have a Gift For You!” it said. 

“Again? It’d better not be teeth.” 

It handed him a ham sandwich. He stared at it. 

“What the  _ fuck  _ do I do with a ham sandwich?” 

“I Have No Idea!” it cheerfully said. “I’m Guessing to Eat It. People Need To Do That Right?”

“I don’t really need to eat.” he said. “And you can’t.” he tossed it into the hallway behind him, where he heard the sound of the octokitten loudly devouring it. Guess he didn’t manage to shoot it after all. 

“Alright, I’m already sick of you. It’s airlock time.” 


End file.
